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By Peter Ndoria When Edgar shared a table at his local with a woman who was older, he thought it was just another evening of banter over drinks. However, as the night progressed, she opened up and revealed that she had been eyeing him for long. He dismissed it at first, thinking it was just the booze talking. Initially, he found this unsettling but as the night progressed and the drinks flowed — all courtesy of her generosity — she somehow earned his trust.
She was the one calling the shots and any attempts by Edgar to buy drinks were curtly spurned. By the time Edgar went to his home later that night, he had made a quick one-hour detour to her finely furnished apartment for what was to be the first of their now-regular physical encounters. She lives in the same estate, but makes it clear that all she wants is a physical relationship with Edgar. When she finally opened up, he learnt that she is a single mother of three, all in universities abroad, and that she works for an international institution.
The father to her three children still supports them despite her seven-figure salary, so she has more than enough to spoil those she wants to keep close. In what some may consider as a conflict of interests, she even always insists on knowing about the welfare of his family. Edgar is perhaps the new face of the kept man, in a world where as women get more empowered and make their own cash, they literally pick what they want. Whereas the kept man was a young muscular man in a tertiary institution with no money and completely subservient to the woman, more and more women are opting for the more financially stable family men.
And they are willing to spend on them. Helen is one such woman. A recently divorced corporate manager with a leading multi-national, she has been seeing a younger and married man for a while. Once out of town, their relationship is not secret, and it is not uncommon to see them cuddling openly over dinner or drinks. In fact, when the man recently became a father, she bought him an expensive gift to take home to his wife and the newborn.
According to Esther who has several friends in such relationships, the rationale seems quite obvious. Since they have bigger interests in their families, you know they will not leave them for you. And because they are already making their own money, there is no risk of them becoming clingy like the younger ones in college. She adds that the younger unmarried men are more likely to be in multiple relationships with women their age, especially in their colleges. Ultimately, it is all about being with someone you can count on, but with conditions that are favourable.
The boundaries are usually demarcated; if she has young children, the man will never meet them. They will usually hook up in discreet places or on well-choreographed business trips. However, for some of those whose children are all grown-up and out of the house, the man is usually a welcome guest to fill the void in the home.
Conversely for the man, there is the obvious thrill that comes with such physical encounters. With a woman that is stable, there is no rent to be paid, salon visits to be covered or the constant nagging that comes with the sulky and demanding younger girls. However, Edgar, who confesses to having been in two other such relationships before, adds that the biggest advantage is being able to afford a lifestyle he would otherwise not be able to.
She is very fond of my daughter, and keeps saying it reminds her of her firstborn whom she got when she was still in college, many years ago. Lawrence, a newly married young Law graduate, who has been in such a relationship with an older woman who was in the parallel programme from when they were campus, concurs. Whereas his buddies can only afford to go out on selected weekends, he does not worry about money to spruce up his classy suits and can still afford random out-of-town trips. More importantly, notes the soon-to-be advocate, she has introduced him to some serious contacts that he hopes will become his clients when he finally sets up his own firm.
So, are you a young good looking lazy bum with muscles who intends to live off rich lonely women? Then get an education, a job and wife. You have competition and it is educated, responsible College Married men Students Share this story Artistes association denies accusations they irregularly withdrew Sh44 million The claim was made by the Kenya Copyright Board Kecobo in a statement sent to media houses on Wednesday, July 28, alleging that d collective. Life Hacks. Subscribe to our newsletter and stay updated on the latest developments and special offers!
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